Stolen from ~Deemer. Because I can.

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Part 1: How I Came To Be

Were you a planned baby?:
No. I only found out a couple of months ago, as well. Before that, I always knew my mother was twenty when she had me and was still in college, but somehow I never really thought anything strange about that. Way to go, me.

Were you the first?:
No.

Were your parents married when you were born?:
No. They weren't even living together yet after I was born.

What is your birthday?:
October 31st, what's it to you?


Part 2: My Family

How would you describe your family?: (Is this "father mother siblings" family or "father mother siblings aunts uncles cousins grandparents" family? I'll answer this as if it were the latter)
People I've grown apart from over the last few years. With some family members, I regret that. With others, I don't. I've always had the feeling I never wanted to be like (most) relatives from my father's side of the family, and I haven't seen those in years. After my grandfather (on my mother's side of the family) died, a lot of dark family secrets on that side suddenly turned up, so I'm keeping my distance a bit from some people there. Incidentally, my other grandfather (father's father) was found dead one morning sitting just outside a bar. Just as my father know, he was an alcoholic. Hereditary? Fun times. And here I am worrying about baldness. But I digress.

Are your parents married, divorced or separated?
Divorced. Been six years now.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?
Oldest.

What are your siblings’ names?
Kim. My parents are pathetically uninspired. Really. They're such bores. I would've called her "Shanayaznizzle" or something.

Which parent do you get along with best?:
My mom. To get along with my dad I would actually have to see him, I suppose, and that's been about two years.

Do you have step parents?
Yes.

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?:
I don't think I have a "best friend". It's a weird concept, and if I had a best friend, I'd probably be shagging him. But then that would defeat the concept best friend and lean closer to boyfriend. Or sexbuddy. But I digress again. I was going to write something deep here. (Haha, get it? Deep. Innuendo.)
Seriously, all my friends are important to me. I won't say they're all equally important, but they all are in their own way.

Who are your good friends?:
The ones I talk to on a regularly basis. I'm not a very social person. I'm not someone with tons of "acquaintances" - frankly I think they're a waste of time. I'd rather save my time and energy for my real friends than hang out with people who essentially bore me; in a way I'd consider it an insult to my friends, as well. If someone isn't really a friend, we won't talk anymore after two weeks. Unless they're persistent, I'm usually too polite to tell someone to piss off. Unless, of course, they really annoy me.

Do you share the same interests?:
With most I do. With some, there are huge differences, but the good kind - the way you can actually interest eachother. But I can't be friends with someone who will for example whine about shoes all the time.

Which friend can you tell anything to?:
All of the close ones, really. Althoug I tend to split things up, tell one friend something about me and another one another thing about me. I've often thought if all my friends one day came together and gossiped about me, they could get close to forming a picture of who I really am. That frightens me.

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?:
Low in some aspects, moderate in others. High in few aspects, but those are more rare.

Do you get depressed about things easily?:
Not clinicallly depressed, but gloomy. And I'm a neurotic worrier. You don't want to know, really.

Are you happy?:
I suppose so. I was happier a month ago, because of someone who taught me you shouldn't let your happiness depend on others. I can't really complain about being unhappy (although I do, plenty of times. I just don't really mean it too much.)

Do you live life to the fullest?
I'm pretty sure I don't. But I have fun. After all, if every day's a party, the party's become quite dull, and you'll need it all to become more extreme, untill eventually you've reached some limit - or realise you've gone far over that limit, and then it's all pointless. I also think nobody dies completely without regrets or thoughts of things they could have done, that could have been, etc.

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?:
Never. I've taught myself not to care anymore.

Any piercing:
No.

How do you dress?:
Um. Don't know? I don't usually pay attention during the act of clothing myself.

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?
Yes. I got picked on. Hehe.

Who did you use to love that you no longer do?
The first person I ever really fell in love with. When I think about it now, I just feel a big nothingness, and some pity for the way I acted back then.
And my father.

Do you have the same friends?:
I have one who's been around since our first year in elementary school. The rest are all quite recent (the "oldest" going back 3-5 years).

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?
Nothing particularly great or overly ambitious. To find happiness in myself and with other people, cliché as that may sound. Perhaps reach out to others through "art" (writing, I suppose, or comics, they can be art) and at least make some of them feel.

Want to get married?:
No. Never.

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?:
It all depends on my mood, or the company. Lately I prefer to just spend almost every evening in the park, with a book or with friends.

What is your favorite season:
Autumn. The colours are amazing, from reddish brown leaf to pale grey sky. I always imagine the world is dying, and it gives me the weirdest sensation.

Favorite weather?:
The oppressing heat, sudden wind gusts and yellow-grey sky right before a big summer thunderstorm.

Do you like walking in the rain?:
Sometimes, yes. Occasionally barefoot, but only in summer.

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?:
No. Never.
By the way, I don't think that's a very good question. It's like asking "are you gay?", just a way to further propagate segregation. Being vegetarian should not be seen as something different, because that way, just like gay pride, you get veggie pride - a vegetarian "minority group" making a fuss and getting all in your face about meat and how you shouldn't eat it.

What is your favorite food?:
Roast chicken. And steak. Admittedly, the main reasons why I'm not a vegetarian myself.
I also love things like barbeques, fondues and gourmets. (Whatever you call those in English)

What is your favorite restaurant?:
I haven't eaten at a restaurant in ages, so I really couldn't say. The last one I went to was a Greek restaurant in Schaarbeek. It must've been quite nice, since it's the only recent one I can remember.

Are you a fussy eater?:
Oh yes.

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?:
Not the best, but one of the strongest. Because love and hate are the same feeling, just inversed - and in some cases, it doesn't take much to inverse them. It can drive us to do amazing things, or lead us to total destruction.
However, I don't believe it's the strongest feeling. I firmly believe all feelings descend from one primal feeling, i.e. fear. Love/Hate is probably the feeling directly under fear - love can be explained as a simple fear of being alone. Romantic love, then, is even more without grace - a simple biological fear of failing at life's purpose, namely to reproduce.
However, I do strongly believe in love, and not just the romantic kind - there is not one of my friends whom I don't love, one way or another.

Do you believe in love at first sight?:
No. I do believe in love after a first hours-long-conversation, and even then, I think it's rare.
Love at first sight should be called "physical attraction at first sight", in my opinion. But what do I know, right? Right.




Actually the whole reason I'm doing this whole autobiography thing is because earlier today I was skipping through Stephen King's autobiography, and he mentioned the golden rule of "read a lot, write a lot". Now, ashamed as I am to confess this, I sometimes dream of being a writer - writing critics or columns for a magazine, writing short stories or perhaps even (yes!) a novel. It's not a dream I have much faith in, sadly, due to my unfortunate habit of having things coming to me in waves - one month I want to draw, the next month I want to write, the next I'm devoted to my piano, etc. - but I am trying. But for now, the trying has gone far enough.